I think one of the main goals of a parent, in general, is to raise their child in a way that he/she leaves a positive impact on the world.
A parent hopes their child will become a good person who changes the world for the better.
But bereaved parents don’t get this opportunity… at least not in the same way.
Our time with our child was cut tragically short. Our child didn’t have much (if any) time to grow up, live their life, and make an impact. So many hopes and dreams for the future are gone in an instant, and we are forced to look for alternate ways to create a legacy for our child.
Consequently, one of the biggest fears of a bereaved parent is that our child will be forgotten.
We’re scared of the world going on, unchanged, as if our child was never here.
At the core of our being, we need to know that our child was HERE, that they MATTERED, and that they are REMEMBERED.
I combat this fear by talking about Morgan. I share his story, I share my grief, and I strive to make it more normal to talk about this not-at-all-uncommon experience (child loss). I hope my life moving forward gives Morgan a legacy.
This is one of the reasons I started this blog. (Check out the About This Blog page for more of my goals.)
Fortunately, I’m also surrounded by many friends and family who often tell me that they think of Morgan. This is a huge blessing to me, and helps me combat my fears.
But I realize that not every bereaved parent has this kind of support system.
Some bereaved parents may be grieving alone because no one knows they lost an early pregnancy.
… Or maybe they don’t have many close friends or family to help them on their grief journey.
… Or maybe they have strained/difficult relationships with their families.
… Or maybe their child died years and years ago, and they don’t feel like they are “allowed” to still be grieving a loss from so long ago.
Thus, some bereaved parents may – in fact – be the only people who actively remember their lost child.
This isolation – coupled with the fear that their child will be forgotten – can be a devastating weight to bear.
So I want to help bereaved parents combat the fear that their child is forgotten. I want to help them remember their child.
Then it came to me – what better way to promote remembrance than to create a memorial?! I could add a page on my blog that would list the names of the children who were loved and lost far too soon. It’s so perfectly sweet and simple – their names out there for the world to see.
To that end, I created The Wall of Joy. This memorial will be a place where my readers can list the name of their lost child.
I hope that this memorial will help my fellow bereaved parents combat the fear of their child being forgotten.
I hope they find it helpful to know that their child’s name is out in the world… And at any given moment – even years after their child is gone – someone new might read their child’s name on the Wall of Joy.
I want the world to be just a little bit different – just a little bit better – because my son was here.
Morgan matters. Your child matters. Come, join me in remembrance.