I originally shared the content below on my Facebook profile (on the date in the Title). To understand more about the “Facebook Memory” posts, please read About: This Blog. Click here to see a full list of the Morgan Facebook Memories.
Note: The images in this post are examples of some of the items people have sent us after I posted this on Facebook. So, obviously, I didn’t have these photos in the original Facebook post. I just thought this post would benefit from some visuals. I’ll share more of Morgan’s Adventures in the future. 🙂
Morgan’s Adventures
With this being the beginning of summer and vacation season, Andrew and I wanted to extend an open invitation to all our friends and family to be part of a new tradition we are starting! We are starting a photo album called Morgan’s Adventures where we will collect memories of the places where we have remembered Morgan.
But before I go into detail about what this is, I’m going to explain why we are starting it…
WHY
One of the neverending hard things about losing a baby is not being able to create memories with him. There’s no new pictures, no taking him to visit new places, no watching the excitement on his face when he enjoys a new experience.
This means whenever we make a new/happy memory, there’s also a pang of sadness because we feel the Morgan-shaped hole he left behind. He should’ve been here with us in that new memory. And while it’s normal to miss him, it’s simultaneously very easy to let the sadness creep in and steal the joy out of every happy moment.
We constantly have to remind ourselves that Morgan may not be here with us physically, but his memory lives on in our hearts – and that is a happy thing. He changed our lives, and NOT for the worse. So, we are getting used to a new reality where it’s OK to be both happy AND sad in the same moment.
It’s OK to enjoy something right now and also be sad Morgan isn’t here for it. It’s OK for life to go on without him and it’s OK for that process to be hard. It’s OK to start healing and it’s OK to never stop missing him. Both happy and sad are OK, even at the same time.
But the temptation is to let the sad overcome the happy, and that’s not OK. That’s not fair to Morgan’s memory.
So we decided that we don’t want sadness to be Morgan’s story – his legacy. We didn’t want to solely dwell on “should’ve been’s.” We don’t want to let sadness outweigh the happiness of every new/happy memory.
To be successful in this requires an active approach – we cannot expect to fight sadness passively. So to help us combat the temptation of constant sadness, we decided to start a tradition that would help us intentionally look for the joy in Morgan’s memory. We wanted to do something that would actively include him in the happiness of our present moments. Thus, Morgan’s Adventures was born!
WHAT
Like I mentioned at the top, we are starting a photo album called Morgan’s Adventures where we will collect memories of the places where we have remembered Morgan.
The idea is this… We often think about Morgan on our outings and how we wish he were there with us… But wait! His memory lives on in our hearts, therefore he WAS with us in that moment! Since we stopped to think about him in that place, his memory was in that place, too.
For example, we were in Branson over Christmas and we thought about how we wish Morgan could’ve seen the Christmas lights at Silver Dollar City. Remembering him in that moment “took his memory there”. So we will print one of our pictures of the Christmas lights, write his name on the picture, and put it in the album.
Essentially, we want to keep an album of all the places Morgan’s memory “visited” because we remembered him when we were there. Then over the years we can look back through this album and reminisce over all the fun places around the world Morgan “visited” with us.
What does this have to do with you? 😉
Then it dawned on us… we have a lot of friends and family who think about Morgan, too! So many of you have reached out over the past few months saying you were thinking about us and Morgan. It always means so much when we get a text, card, or FB message. It’s a priceless gift to know he’s not forgotten.
So we thought maybe other people would also be interested in adding to this photo album with us. This is a 100% voluntary, open invitation. We are not expecting people to participate – just letting you know that you are welcome to.
If you are on a work trip, on a vacation, at a famous event or landmark, or even just visiting someplace cool in your own city — and you happen to think of Morgan — you “took him there” with you! You brought his memory there!
So, if you feel so inclined as to send us a little memento of that place, we’d be honored to put it in the Morgan’s Adventures album — a collection of the places Morgan “visited” via the minds of the people who love and remember him.
HOW
There’s so many fun things that can be mementos for the album! These are the main guidelines:
- Something flat that can be in a photo album.
- Has Morgan’s name on it (I.e. written on it and/or in the picture.)
Preferably has your name(s) on it so we know who remembered him. - Preferably has some way of ID-ing where the place is. Either it’s obvious (statue of liberty!) Or you include a little note of where it was taken/from.
- Completely optional (not at all expected, but definitely welcome): a note or letter you’d like us to include in the album with the memento.
IDEAS
(Because maybe you’re like me and you like examples)
Mail Morgan a postcard/card from your trip:
- Make sure it’s either addressed to Morgan or the note on it includes his name.
- Examples: “Morgan’s memory went to Disney World with The Smith Family!” or “Thinking of how Morgan would’ve loved seeing the polar bears at the St. Louis Zoo.”
Postcard from my cousin, Kristi, visiting Central Park in NYC.
Mail us a scenic picture with Morgan’s name:
- Write his name in the sand on the beach, in the snow on a ski slope, in chalk on a city sidewalk, in the dirt on a hiking trail, etc.
- Write his name on a piece of paper and hold it up in the photo.
- Get his name on your Starbucks cup and take a photo of it where you are.
- P.S. you can always just print a photo from your trip and write his name on the photo with a pen/sharpie.
Mail us a keepsake with Morgan’s name and your name(s) written on it:
- A ticket stub from a concert, sports game, theme park, fair, zoo, aquarium, state park, etc.
- Brochure from a tourist attraction you visited.
- Playbill (or just the front cover) from a Broadway show.
Feel free to be creative! It just has to be something flat I can put in a photo album, and have his and your name(s) on it! Also, there’s no time table for this – we plan on adding to it for years to come.
CONCLUSION
(Because a post this long deserves a closing statement haha)
I was having a hard time writing this because I’m afraid people will feel pressured to participate. And that’s the exact opposite of what we are wanting. We want this to be completely from the heart. So please don’t feel like you have to search for something (“just anything”) to send us. That’s not the intent of the album. This is meant to be a genuine reflection of places Morgan was remembered… 100% from the heart.
If you do decide to send us something, thank you for helping us actively embrace joy instead of sadness. You’d be giving us new things to put in a photo album, and thus helping us make some new memories with Morgan.
We look forward to flipping through Morgan’s Adventures over the years and seeing all the fun memories he was a part of simply because he was remembered.
