Welcome to My Slice of Joy, a blog where I’ll share a little bit of everything going on in my life.
I aim to be real, vulnerable, and authentic in sharing my journey as a wife, mom, bereaved parent, and follower of Christ.
(What is a bereaved parent? Check out my Bereaved Parents post.)
You’re probably thinking, “why does this site have two ‘About’ sections?”
Valid question.
As I was working on developing this blog, I realized that I wanted readers to know not only my basic biographical information (as seen on the About: Me page), but I also want readers to know why I decided to start blogging in the first place.
Then I realized that answering those two questions was a COMPLICATED endeavor and deserved two, dedicated pages.
PURPOSE OF THIS BLOG:
In order to tell you about why I am here (blogging), I have to tell you about the last two years of my life.
On April 1, 2018 Andrew and I found out we were pregnant with our son, Morgan.
At this point, we had been married over 4 years. We had enjoyed our “let’s be a kid-less couple for a while” phase. We wrestled through our “we think we want kids, but aren’t sure if we’re ready yet” phase. We had ridden the roller coaster of emotions during the “we’re trying to get pregnant but it’s not working as fast as we thought it would” phase.
Needless to say, after 7 months of “trying”, we were over the moon that we finally had a bundle of joy coming our way. Our little “Tater Tot” was already so loved and wanted. Overall, I had a smooth pregnancy, I went into labor full term, and my baby was born!
But Morgan wasn’t OK.
He had to be taken to the NICU right away for trouble breathing, and he was having small seizures. After some testing, doctors discovered that the majority of his brain was damaged due to swelling. They told us this swelling would eventually cause his brain to shut down, and he would die.
We had four and a half days with Morgan in the hospital. He died in my arms on December 1, 2018.
My world hasn’t been the same ever since. Child loss is an indescribable pain – though that doesn’t prevent a bereaved parent (like myself) from trying to put it into words.
The last year has been an insane crash course in grief. So much pain. So much sorrow. So much anxiety. But also so much love.
Grief cannot exist without love.
I’ve heard it said, “grief is just love with no place to go.” It’s so true. I love Morgan with every fiber of my being, and I know that will never change.
This also means I will miss him for the rest of my life. I will always feel the Morgan-shaped hole he left behind. And I’m learning that that’s OK.
Grief has a way of putting things into perspective.
You realize what is important to you and what isn’t. I have learned so much about myself, about my faith, and about what I want my life to look like. I am not the same person I was before. My goals and interests have changed somewhat significantly – some of which I’ll cover in future posts.
For instance, I never considered blogging before… yet here I am. I found myself sharing many lengthy posts on Facebook this last year, and people kept telling me “Lauren, you should start a blog or write a book!”
I was like, “Nah, I’m not a writer… I’m just processing my grief and sharing it in case it helps someone else.” But then I realized that a blog is basically just someone sharing their experiences online – and Facebook isn’t a whole lot different than that – so I decided to make it official and start a real blog.
Technically I feel like I started “blogging” earlier this year with my lengthy posts on Facebook. Since these posts are a pretty major part of my grief journey, I thought it would be good to add those Facebook posts to my blog. The titles of these posts will all start with “Facebook Memory (date-originally-posted)…”
Click here for a consolidated list of these Facebook Memory posts.
Then it occurred to me – why not blog about more than just my grief journey?
Why not share other aspects of my life? Maybe this blog could be a bi-product of all my passions – my family, my faith, and my love of cooking. It suddenly all clicked together in my brain, and I pulled another “all in” move and went from zero-to-launched in a just couple weeks.
I wanted to name the blog something that would encompass a little bit of all those passions – which is how I came up with the name “My Slice of Joy”.
So this blog is 100% because of Morgan. If it weren’t for being his mom, I don’t know if I would’ve had the courage to take this leap. His life has brought me so much JOY, even though it’s intertwined with immense sadness.
MY GOALS:
- I hope that My Slice of Joy brings awareness to the struggles faced by bereaved parents.
- I hope it gives a voice to a surprisingly wide-spread yet under-discussed topic:
- Roughly 1 in 4 women experience pregnancy loss, stillbirth, infant loss, and/or infertility.
- I hope that other bereaved parents will find comfort through reading about my experience.
- I hope to continue processing my own, ongoing grief.
- I hope to honor my Morgan’s memory by telling his story.
- And I hope that all of this leads you to show empathy and compassion to those around you – you NEVER know what someone is silently struggling with!
Oh, and if you happen across some awesome Recipes or DIY ideas while you’re at it, that’s pretty cool, too. 🙂
Welcome to My Slice of Joy! I look forward to our upcoming adventures!